Hold Each Other and Cry

As I’m sure most of you know, we’re sitting in the wake of tragedy. Another school shooting, 4 days ago, in Nashville - down the street from Red Therapy Group offices and homes. Before this, I had no idea how many personal connections I have to parents with kids at Covenant School. Anna, Cindy and I volunteered on Wednesday to counsel kids and parents directly affected by the shooting.

I want to tell you about those sessions, but I won’t. You can imagine the shock and fear on adult faces and the smiles mixed with jumpiness in the kids. Everyone wants to make sense of it. And the blocks they had in processing hard things is no different than before this happened.

Good things are happening too. People who are not used to showing emotion are showing emotion. Couples are touching each other more. Parents are intuitively doing whatever they can to soothe, reassure and comfort.

But no one can make meaning of it.

Yes, the fear, grief and pain can be shared. We know how to do that in EFT. But, the meaning making - I don’t know.

I don’t think we can make meaning with this one.

And, honestly - when people try, it’s a bit triggering for me.

I just want to scream from the mountain tops - “JUST HOLD EACH OTHER AND CRY!”

That’s what I want to help people do.

And that’s what we need, too. Therapists need to hold each other and cry. Hold your loved ones and cry.

Whether it’s in the wake of a tragedy like this one, or the normal routine vicarious trauma that comes from the nature of our work. We need to hold each other and cry.

We signed up for this, yes. But, no one could prepare us for how much we would be exposed to.

We walk into dark tunnels, not knowing what we’ll hear, see or feel.

We go in because we’re helpers. And we’re brave.

We’re also human. Beautifully human. I came home that day after being around the Covenant Community, sat at the kitchen counter and was quiet. My husband came over and started rubbing my shoulders. I turned toward him and we held each other.