Follow Emotion

"Emotion is the messenger of love; it is the vehicle that carries every signal from one brimming heart to another. For human beings, feeling deeply is synonymous with being alive."

From "General Theory of Love" by Lewis, Amini and Lannon (HIGHLY recommend).

If you're paying attention, you'll recognize master EFT therapists use emotion as their north star. Emotion without judgment is our best guide. It's what allows you to shake off content and realign yourself to your client's facial expression, tone of voice and speed of speech. When the room slows down and your client's words match their body - everyone is leaning in.

We work so hard to get bonding encounters like that. Sometimes we are in the stage 1 trenches for what seems like an eternity before we get those magical and connected moments.

Tears do not equal vulnerability. Insight does not equal growth. Good articulation does not equal health.

Tune in, my friend. Find your own emotional world. What does it feel like in there? When you're with a client and you get off balance - what do you notice? Are you talking more? Is your body tensing up? Are you freezing and getting quiet? What are you feeling? Are you anxious? Is there maybe a sting of shame? Or do you feel a dread in your chest?

These emotions, like we tell our clients are good. They are messengers of love. They tell us where we are and where we need to be. Let's follow a potential moment in therapy - how could it go?

I'm anxious, my body is tensing up and I'm talking/teaching at a speed of chatter. Deep sigh. I close my eyes. I need a moment to regain focus.
(to clients) - "Something important just happened" (this is a Sue Johnson quote) "Can we go back?"

Sue Johnson learned to use her own emotional cues in session. Let's encourage each other in this - we are beautifully human together. Our emotions help us and they help our clients. We can love more openly and show our clients the way if we first brave our own icky feelings.