EFT Burn Out

It's an age old problem. Therapists are the worst about taking care of themselves. I hold my hand up high and say, "ME TOO!" Why do we do this? Why are we overly accommodating at the detriment of ourselves?

We genuinely care. We want to help others. We don't take seriously the toll this kind of work has on us.

I don't love the phrase self-care. Maybe it's because it's overused. Maybe it's because it implies self-care is something you have to do on your own. Like, "Take care of yourself for yourself with only your self."

I like the word nurture when it comes to caring for ourselves. Nurture yourself so you can engage in important work. This is so we can be there for our clients. For our family and friends. For ourselves.

SELF NURTURE NOT TO DO LIST

1 - Do not let your sessions go over time. This makes you feel anxious and it's like a ball rolling downhill. Once you let one session go over 5-10 minutes, it's so hard to catch up. Stick with a plan for timing sessions. Gain control of your sessions early so you're not wrangling it in and going over. 
2 - Don't look at or answer emails in-between sessions. (ESPECIALLY if you have back to back sessions). This will only make you have to wear multiple hats. We're not meant to switch back and forth so quickly (especially when our sessions require so much of us). Go to the bathroom, drink water, take a short walk. Breathe.
3 - Don't look at social media on a day that you're counseling. If you must - wait until you're done for the day. It's normal to engage in social media when you just want to zone out for a minute. But, the danger is that something will trigger you (annoying political comment, comparison, FOMO, etc) and make it hard for you to engage with yourself while doing this hard work.

SELF NURTURE TO DO LIST

1 - Create a ritual that helps you engage with yourself or safe others before and after your day of counseling. I like calling a friend on my way to work and just driving in silence on my way home - letting the sessions from the day wash over me.
2 - Try to stack your session availability. Instead of having openings all over the place, place them close together. Therapists tend to do well when they are in "therapy mode" for a compact time rather than having lots of breaks and sessions spread out over a week.
3 - Know your "magic number" and stick with it. If 4 sessions a day is your limit - stick to 4. Don't compare your number to someone else's. We have different temperaments and need different things. 
4 - Make sure you have support and are carving out time to nurture your craft. The more confident you feel in the model you're using, the more your sessions will give you energy, not drain you. (This isn't to say that you still won't need to pay close attention to the toll that this work takes on you).
5 - CONNECT! Sometimes relationships can feel like another job to do. Think of it as a way to energize you. And, keep it simple. Hug someone for 20 seconds. Look at someone in the eye when checking out at the store. Drop everything and listen to a story a child has to share. These all take minutes. But, what it does to your brain (and heart and soul) lasts longer.

I think EFT in particular requires a lot of nurture. This model requires our whole selves. When we're with ourselves and our clients - it's incredibly rewarding and can be energizing. But, if we're not careful - it can also go the other way. Without care, we can burn out or give up on the model altogether.

I hope that helps a little. It feels like a timely message with the Holidays coming up. Things speed up around us. The temptation will be to keep up. Instead, take initiative and nurture yourself in order to take it slow.