The Greatest Tool in the Therapy Room
What is the greatest tool in the therapy room? YOU!
In school we heard that we need to take ourself out of the therapy room. Don't touch your client, don't disclose anything and don't make it about you. Yes and no.
We never want therapy to be about us. Obviously. It's about our clients. If we're trying to work something out in the therapy space with our clients and it gets in the way therapeutically - it's either time for our own therapy, or for very specific supervision.
However, we're human. We can't NOT bring ourselves to the room. Actually - we are the best tool when it comes to the process of change. We just have to learn how to use it.
If you allow your triggers as a therapist to be signals that something important is happening - you can lean into them instead of assume it means "I'm a poser," "I have no idea what I'm doing," or "They're going to fire me."
In EFT especially - YOU are the best indicator of what's happening with your client. Learn to trust your own physiological responses.
What happens naturally, though? What's your pattern? When you feel flushed, like you don't know what to do next - what do you actually do? Do you talk more (psyho-ed)? Do you freeze and say nothing? Do you get defensive and over explain? Do you lay back and just let your clients go?
What's happening inside for you right before you do what you do? What do you tell yourself?
The best way to know is to tape your session, pause it at a time that you know you're doing "your thing" - and then ask yourself these questions. If you need help - bring it to an EFT buddy or a supervisor.
Once you've realized your own cycle in therapy, you can have a corrective experience in session.
Imagine this. You feel flushed, you get the same feeling and this time, instead of telling yourself - "Oh no. They're going to figure it out - I have no idea what I'm doing" - you tell yourself "Oh..I know what this is. This means something important just happened." And, then you make a different move. "Oh, wow. I'm realizing something. Something just happened and I think we need to stay here a bit. Is that ok? I need to linger longer here so we can really understand this thing that just happened. Can you help me?"
It's not on you alone anymore. You can use your physiological response and bring it out (without unnecessarily disclosing). You make it explicit and you let them tell you what's happening. It's collaborative.