Equality

"If people can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite." Nelson Mandela

Isn't that what we do as clinicians? We teach love. We teach in the only way love can be taught - experience through gentleness and steadfast grace. We teach people how to be with another person and with self so that with this new love comes predictability, consistency, safety and equality to the other.

I've seen it more than once. After a withdrawer engages with self and a pursuer softens - they look at each other and have this "ah!" moment. They realize - we are a lot more similar than different. At the end of the EFT process, their quirks are the same, their attachment styles haven't really changed - but now they know about their emotional needs. They have reached the depths of their fears and longings and they see each other as human.

"You've always been alone, just as me."
"You know shame like me."
"You're afraid just like me."
"You long for closeness just like me."

This leveling inspires me. It makes me think that with equality in marriage - there's hope for equality in this world. I have no idea what that looks like, but I would love for someone to start that as a global conversation. I think people have no idea how unequal they feel to their spouse until they see each other as the humans that they are together. After that, equality comes in the home.

What if equality in the home was foundational for change?