Secure Attachment with EFT

Wouldn't it be great if EFT could give you a hug? Just reassure you that you're ok just as you are? Maybe that's what we need to do for each other as we learn this model.

What's your relationship with EFT? With the model itself?

Are you a pursuer with EFT? Do you get really hard on yourself, blame something (often yourself) and then work really hard to get answers? To figure out where you went wrong? Desperate for some kind of "I've arrived" place? Anything to not feel like a poser?

Are you a withdrawer with EFT? Do you try really hard and then just throw your hands up? The last thing you want to do is read about EFT, read this newsletter (so, I guess I'm only talking to pursuers...haha), or watch a training video. You give up. You go to something that feels more comfortable or makes you feel like you're not a failure.

Maybe you swing back and forth? (That's probably most of us).

What would your posture be toward your clients for such pursuer/withdrawer behavior? Compassion, curiosity and care. I know you guys. You are in this business because you actually care deeply about your clients and people in general.

We need what they need. We need a corrective emotional experience with the model itself. You're going to do what you do (pursue/withdraw). It's only because you don't feel secure. You're still learning. Or, you've been at it for a long time and really feel like you should be further. Or, you feel secure.

Those of you that feel secure with the EFT model itself - the only thing that separates you from the others is you've put your time in. You've been at it long enough to have multiple corrective emotional experiences. That gave you what you needed to actually trust and stay.

Most EFT Supervisors and Trainers will say that they've let go of doing EFT perfectly. They're still learning and growing, but if they mis-attune - it's not so scary. They've had experience that tells them "It's ok - just go back in. This does work even if this moment is shaky." It's what couples experience when they gain secure attachment. It's not that they're perfectly connected or that their cycle doesn't take over anymore. They just have more trust that they can repair when their cycle takes over.