Sloppy Enactments

You thought I was going to say don't do them, didn't you?

Here's the thing. I'm an EFT Supervisor and sometimes I just can't get the beautiful nugget. Often it's early stage one and there's more tuning in that I need to do. I need to make sure I really have a good grasp on the attachment dilemma that person holds inside. (The very good reason they don't share or even know about the part of them that is tender and very much needs their partner).

Part of finding that is by seeing it in action!

George Faller and Wesley Little did a fabulous YouTube video called "Getting Comfortable with Enactments." In it, George narrows it down to three things.

Enact when it's:
1-new
2-from view of self
3-risky to share (vulnerable)

What if, as hard as you try, you can't get there? You maybe have "new" and "risky to share," but it's still view of other.

I say - just do a sloppy enactment.

Go ahead and send it across anyway. You'll get a block and maybe what they need more than anything is your response to it.

Think about it.

Have you ever gotten stuck with a loved one, or maybe in your own head (individual work, people!)? How meaningful would it be to have someone (AFTER you do the thing that you always do - the "bad behavior" or expression of anger) drop out of the sky - right into your living room and say, "OH!!! I get it! You've been trying so hard to get your point across and no one is listening so your last ditch effort is to scream! And how awful for you because more than anything you need someone close!"

As we learn, we can do one of two things - enact too often without focus (just following emotion/content without organizing it and staying with it) or don't enact at all (too scared to make it worse).

Maybe if you make your goal "sloppy enactments" - you'll find a middle ground. Attempt the focused, setting the stage enactment, but if the struggle is real - trust that your response (after the "bad enactment") is what matters most.