The Cadence of EFT

I was watching a tape of a supervisee of mine and the sound was very faint. I could barely make out the client or therapist words, but I could hear the cadence.

"Right there. That's where a transition needs to happen. I can hear the cadence of the session. This is where you could transition from move one to move two."

My supervisee knew exactly what I was talking about. She just needed help with the "how."

Once you move through the tango enough times, you start to feel a natural rhythm to a session. It's a dance between you and your clients. You're leading, of course.

If you find yourself asking, "And what's that like for you?" over and over again - you're like a record player with the needle stuck on a groove (am I dating myself?). You need to get to the chorus. Sing it again and again. Let it wash over your client. Then, share the music. And then process it (the bridge?). Maybe the analogy just broke down there. Musical people - tell me if it works.

The heart of the matter - the significance of what your client is saying. This is found in move two. Spend your time in move one and pivot. Get to the chorus. It won't happen on its own. You have to move from "and what's that like for you?" with lots of nice reflections to what the attachment significance is.

What is keeping them exactly where they are? What's the attachment dilemma? What are the two bad options? What do they do with it? Tell themselves? What's the chorus?

Maybe it goes like this:

Lyrics before the chorus (move one):

"He's a lazy bum. He never does anything. It's all up to me around here!"
What's that like for you? What happens between you?
"Well it's maddening! I yell at him of course!"
Right, you yell. Of course you yell. And if you didn't yell?

Some more move one reflecting to get to the chorus (move two):

"If I let go of my anger, things will never change. And I'm desperate for change. It can't be like this forever. But, when you see my anger - I'm a monster to you and you run away."

And then sing that chorus. Feel the chorus. Repeat the chorus without asking more questions (you have what you need, now we're just singing together): You're desperate for change. And imagine if you told him you're desperate? And you fear you're a monster to him? But you can't let your anger go - it's way too risky because you're sure things will never change.

And then move 3 (setting up the enactment and sharing).

Record your sessions and listen to it without listening to the words. Or watch it on mute. How does the cadence sound and look? The rhythm? Are you moving your client through their own experience?